I have everything and yet I have nothing. 

I have my residency. But I don’t yet. 

I have phoned for an update on the status of my application many times, and the answer always was “call back in __ weeks”.  I called again. As she checked this time, I prayed for the following answer: “It’s been reviewed, you’re missing ___.” Instead she said, “It’s ready.”

My heart stopped. Then it leapt. 

“When can I pick it up!?”

“Oh, you can’t.”

My heart dropped. 

“What?”.

“You have to make an appointment to pick it up”. 

Heart leap!! 

“Can I do that now!?”.

“No”. 

Heart drop again. 

“What?”

“You have to make a copy of your passport and write down your contact information. Drop that off, and then we will contact you to make an appointment to pick it up.” 

Heart exploded. 

“BUT YOU HAVE ALL THAT INFORMATION IN THE APPLICATION YOU JUST APPROVED!!!!!!!”

I did not say that of course. I bit my tongue until it bled and instead confirmed what time they were open until that day, then thanked her profusely and told her she had made my day. She kinda did. I hung up the phone, let out a yelp, and did a happy dance around my living room. 

I AM A RESIDENT OF GIBRALTAR! 

That was over a week ago. No, appointment, no card. No, I am not a resident of Gibraltar yet. 

So I can’t go apply for my health care card yet. I can’t get a mobile phone account from GibTel yet. I can’t go climb the Rock without paying, or ride the bus for free, because I can’t prove I’m a resident yet. 

Ironically, I also can’t leave Gibraltar yet, because without being able to prove I live here I’m not sure customs will let me back in. 

Customs officials, bus drivers, nature reserve park wardens…I just wanna flash my residency card in all their faces!!! But I can’t. Can’t yet. 

I have a job. But I don’t yet. 

Yes, I got a work permit by incorporating my own company, and that company can do business here. It is. But it’s not doing anywhere near enough business for me to live on. And for multiple reasons, I’m not sure working for my own company is the way to go.

So I’ve been selectively applying for jobs. This was always in the back of my mind. Getting a work permit is difficult. Getting a work permit transferred to a different employer is apparently not so difficult. So, I always thought that getting the work permit on my own and then applying for jobs would give me a better chance of obtaining a job than if I applied for a job without having a work permit. 

I have accepted a position. It’s low level, but it includes a plan and a timeline for advancement. Best of all, it is a transition out of law. 

My new boss just wanted to make sure there would be no problem transferring the work permit. He said he had a contact at the ETB (employment board), and he’d get a hold of him to make sure all was good. We agreed on a start date. 

The date has come and gone. No word from ETB. So no job yet. 

I have my own home. But I don’t yet. 

The monthly interest I earn on my money in Canada is not even close to my monthly rent bill. So why not reduce expenses? I found a lovely place, that is currently rented out for more than I pay in rent! It is in a great spot with decent views, and even has a tiny little outdoor space! And best of all, it’s quiet. Yes, right now I am in a prime location to get any just about anywhere in five minutes, but the sounds of motorcycles revving and horns honking and music blaring and construction blasting is constant. I am so sick of noise. And even the heat. My rental is in a concrete hot box and has no A/C. I am melting…

So I negotiated, I bargained, and I bought a place! Champagne was uncorked, a celebration was had. Closing was estimated for July 27th.

July 27th has come and gone, and we are nowhere near closing yet.

As there is no land registry here, lawyers must obtain the title deeds and review them. Despite two requests from my lawyer, the seller’s lawyer has, as of yet, failed and neglected to send my lawyer the deeds. Even when that occurs, we are still at least a week away from closing. 

I have already given my notice to vacate my current place. Will I end up homeless? I’m nowhere near having a place to move into!

So in one way, I have my residency, a job, and my own place to live. I have stability! But in another way, in the one that matters, reality, I have nothing yet.

Sometimes when one of the justices that I used to work for in Canada was frustrated, he said that he felt he was trying to contain smoke using a sieve. His words echo in my ears. As I chase certainty and stability, just when I think I’ve succeeded in attainment, it seems to waft away through my fingers. 

The picture accompanying this post? It’s not smoke, it’s the humid Levante cloud coming in over the Rock of Gibraltar as I was rambling around one evening. The photo fits with the theme of this blog, I think.

Yes, I enjoy rambling.

And I love Gibraltar still.